Last week’s post, 11 Days Together after 42 Days Apart, was primarily about Dennis’s visit home after the longest we’ve gone without seeing each other. However, I went slightly off-topic to encourage anyone who has considered writing a blog to give it a go. Imagine my pride when three different people reached out to me about starting one themselves! Even though I still consider myself a blogging newbie, I’m happy to help in any way. The joy (and therapy!) I get out of writing about our situation and helping others, plus learning all about this new set of skills, is something I’m happy to share.
The second half of Dennis's visit
The rest of Dennis’s visit home was pretty laid back. He worked from home, the kids went to school, drums, and taekwondo. We picked up Hurts Donuts for breakfast one morning, and enjoyed a couple of family movies that week. When I say “family movies,” I mean we watch them as a family, not “family-friendly movies.” While one movie was Avengers: Infinity War (PG-13), the other was Tropic Thunder (Rated R). It was at the boys’ request, and knowing how hilarious, if nowhere near PG, it is, we obliged. We no longer shelter them from any movies now that they are teens, because we know what movies we both liked as teens and don’t want them to miss out. Plus, we know they’re mature enough to separate satire from reality.
My Attempt to extend his visit home
Just two days before his flight back to DC, the boys and I were working hard at our weekly training class that’s getting us ready to test for our next black belts (first degree for me, second for them). It’s a two hour class, and the first hour and a half is a rigorous curriculum class. We work on kicking, punching, blocking and self-defense, and really perfecting our technique in all areas. The last half hour is an intense fitness class of running, jumping rope, planks, pushups, sit-ups, all intended to prepare us for a two hour fitness test that we must also pass.
We were finishing up on bag drills where we work on our technique for a specific kick (my favorite part of the curriculum!). I felt like I was doing great, and was happy to soak up any advice from the higher belts after each kick. But as I was putting my foot down after one of the kicks, I felt a pop in my calf. When I say “pop,” I was certain that something ripped apart from where it had stayed perfectly intact for 46 years.
This is similar to what I was doing when I tore my calf muscle. I don't have any videos of me kicking bags, but I have one of my friend, Miranda! I'm not as good as she is, though.
The instructor knew something was up as I stopped and looked at him with huge, terrified eyes. “What is it?” He asked. “I felt something pop,” I replied, standing there like a flamingo because it hurt too bad to straighten my leg. I hopped over to a spot where I could sit down, and someone quickly rushed over an ice pack.
Pop Goes the muscle
Feeling a pop would be enough to scare anyone, especially someone in their 40s. But what worried me the most is that I had been suffering from plantar fasciitis on that same foot since January. Because I knew I’d have six months of these intense training sessions in order to get my black belt in November, I was already under a doctor’s care. My foot had been feeling better the past couple of months, so I quit going to physical therapy. I decided to push through it against my doctor’s advice. So after the “pop” all I could think was, “This is what he was worried about. Now I’ve really messed something up. Dennis is supposed to leave in two days, I’ll probably need surgery, Jack doesn’t have his license yet and who will drive everyone to where they need to be? I won’t be able to test for my black belt yet, and I don’t want to wait until next year…”
It was like when people say their life flashed before their eyes. For me, the rest of 2019 was flashing before my eyes. Even though, logically, I was about 95% sure it wasn’t something that would require surgery. And even if it did, we’d be fine. Dennis could stay a bit longer, and we have parents who would happily visit and help. (Visit Illness or Injury in a LDF for my tips on surviving such incidents!) But when you’re my age and feel something pop anywhere in your body, all logic flies out the window.
No pain, no black belt
What settled my nerves the most was that the pain was actually tolerable. Or I guess shock could have been the culprit, but in hindsight it was more likely the minimal pain. But I couldn’t walk on it. In fact, Dennis had to get a wheelchair to get me to the car. At first I tried hanging onto him and Jack while hopping, but that made me sick to my stomach and I had to sit down after just a few hops.
That night, I treated it with ibuprofen and the RICE method (rest, ice, compression, elevation). A quick Google of the “pop” and my symptoms kept returning calf strains, and I was convinced that’s what I had. Which was great, because it heals on its own with rest. For once in my life, I actually felt better after googling my symptoms than worse! How often do you hear that?
The next morning, still unable to walk, I called my orthopedist. It turns out they have a weekend clinic, and advised that I come in since they’d be closing early for Labor Day weekend, and wouldn’t re-open until Tuesday.
Me, except I couldn't stand up to shower for two days.
The doctor on duty ordered an x-ray (nothing was broken, not that I ever thought it was), and felt around to make sure my Achilles was intact (it was). Next, she felt around the calf muscles lightly enough so that I didn’t scream out in pain. She was certain it was a calf strain as well, ordered some crutches and muscle relaxers, and a follow up appointment with my orthopedist in a week.
With more RICE throughout the day, I was already starting to feel better. Dennis’s flight was the following day, and he waited to change his flight to see how I’d feel that morning. Again, it was progressively feeling better, so he decided to keep his return flight. My plan to injure myself to keep him here longer didn’t work. Darn.
And just like that, he's gone again
He completed a few easy “honey dos” (replacing old smoke detectors and burned out bulbs, fixed a leaky toilet), before packing to leave. Then, the four of us journeyed to the airport so that the boys and I could see him off, and just like that, we’re anxiously awaiting his next trip home.
Post Visit Blues
When we started this blog, I included a list of ways we try to lesson the impact of living apart and how we rate the things we’ve tried. While I haven’t done the best job at keeping this section up-to-date, I actually have something to add this time. It’s all thanks to our gracious friend, Misty.
Here is a picture of Misty and me sparring at a belt test. No, you're not supposed to smile while sparring, but we always manage to end up laughing hysterically.
When Misty heard about my injury, she wanted to help. She waited until Dennis left so as not to disrupt our time together, and then offered to bring us dinner. I would only accept if she and her kids would stay and eat with us so we could catch up. What Misty didn’t realize, is that she thought she was just providing food to the family where the primary caretaker may not feel up to cooking. However, it was so much more than that to us. Dennis left Sunday, and Misty came over Monday. As everyone in a long distance relationship knows, that is prime time for post-visit blues.
My mind was occupied with anticipation of Misty’s visit, curbing the blues. I even tidied up earlier in the day than usual (both the house and myself!) which didn’t leave much time to mope.
Unfortunately, one of Misty’s children woke up sick that morning, so they weren’t able to stay as planned. But they did bring us a delicious dinner, so we still got to see them. And Misty and I were able to do a quick in-person catch-up. We decided we’ll get together another time, but her visit still saved the day. It also reminded me to have something planned each time Dennis leaves for DC. Most of the time, our busy schedule is enough. But in times like this, where Monday was a holiday and we didn’t have much going on, it helps to have something fun already planned.
For us, that could mean:
- A visit with friends
- A hike
- Bowling, an arcade, or a drive in the mountains
- A movie at an actual theater (vs. watching one at home)
- Anything fun that will occupy our day and our minds.
What are some ways the rest of you occupy yourselves during the post-visit blues? Comment below, we’d love more ideas!
Dennis gets the post-Visit Blues, too
Once back in DC, Dennis tackled his post-visit blues by preparing for the week: Laundry, groceries, catching up on work. Not quite as fun as our day, and he still missed us and his home, but it did help keep him busy.
Now, we patiently wait for his next visit home. Meanwhile, Jack has been invited to a weekend training camp in Detroit. (Remember how I said we were finished with taekwondo-related travel for the year? Famous last words…) Dennis plans to drive to Detroit to meet him, so that Ben and I can stay home. Dennis and Jack will get some quality one-on-one time, and we don’t have to purchase two additional flights for Ben and me. Cha-ching!
I’ve mentioned here before that taekwondo is such a big part of our lives, and I write about it so frequently, we should start a dedicated blog just for it. The new blog is in progress, but the Instagram account is already live! You can follow Jack and Ben and all of their taekwondo training and adventures at @cutkick
You can also follow us at @thenewnuclearblog
That was nice that your friend brought dinner.Let us know How Jacks trip to Detroit went.Did Dennid make it back ok?
Dennis
It was really nice of her, Misty is one of the most selfless people I know. She’s a single mom of 2 but makes time to do things like this for people all the time.
Everyone is home safely (both CO and DC) 🙂
Gahhh! I hope your calf is feeling better! That sounds awful! You’ll have to reAlly do some damage next time so Dennis has to stay! 😉
Thank you! It feels much better but is still healing so I have to take it easy. You know, as I’m working towards my black belt in November :/ And I know, right? What’s a girl gotta do?? 😀